Well I finally talked with my husband for this first time during this training. It was so nice to be able to hear his voice. Sometimes I wonder if it makes it harder though actually talking to him. I do so good and then just feel like it all goes down hill.
Ever feel like your in this alone? Like no one gives a damn? I'm there every day. I feel like everyone said they'd be there to support me. They'd be my shoulder. They'd visit. They'll make sure to help me keep my mind off things but when it came down to me needing them it was just me standing all alone. I guess thats a good thing in a way. It's teaching me to be independent but everyone needs that shoulder to cry on once in awhile. They need to hear that it's all going to be ok. Problem is I do hear it once in awhile but it's just empty words. Not many people can say they get to have a second honeymoon. Us military wives have many lol
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Officer Wives V Enlisted
We've all heard the stories. How Officer wives think they're better and are stuck up. When I heard these stories I laughed. I told my friend I've met nice people so far this has to be a lie. Man was I wrong! I had my first experience with some officer wives that weren't so friendly. The truth be told that there are a lot of nice ones but there are a lot that believe back in the old days where officers are high above everyone else.
Let me give you just a little info on the incendent I had with the wife. I'm not a pfc's wife trying to go to an Officers wives meeting. I don't want to go in details and again I don't think rank should matter, but my husband is a SNCO and normally SNCO and officers have functions/meetings together. They are equivalent. Just one has earned their title while the other chose to go through school to get theirs. Nothing is wrong with either way. They just chose different paths but yet still want to achieve the same goal.
Rank to me doesn't matter. It's our husbands that wear the ranks not us. I've accomplished enough in my life that I'm proud of who I am and can stand strong on my own two feet. I don't need my husbands accomplishments to make me stand out in the crowd. If a pfc's spouse is in need to talk with someone they should be able to contact any wife in the military and have them listen and not judge. To have them be there for a support system. All of us women are going through an emotional time. We all cry. We all stand by and support our husbands. We all welcome Marines in and out of our homes and our lives without any question of who they are or if they're intentions are good or not. All of our hearts swell from the sight of the American Flag and all of us get goosebumbs and immediately think of our husbands, friends and loved ones who are serving or have served when we hear the National Anthem being sung.
Yes I know how the rank structure works. I know your not suppose to associate with certain ranks once your a certain rank. But thats the old days and even if you believe that still ... again that is for our husbands not the wives. We shouldn't be judging.
If I listened to that rank structure that my husband has to go by I wouldn't have met some amazing friends that have helped me through some hard times. I have friends that their husbands are lower ranks and some that are higher and I'm there for each one of them the same.
Another wife (actually an officers wife...see not all are bad lol) and I are planning on starting our own group. A group for all wives, girlfriends and fiance's to come and talk and have some wine or coffee or whatever and make new friends and have a strong support from women who are going through the same thing. And even though the officer wives turned away me from coming to their group I'd still welcome them to ours because like I said we all need support now and then.
One last note. I've seen some military spouses turn their noses up at girlfriends or fiances. They think because they're not married yet that they don't deserve to be included in the things Military Wives are. Well thats bullshit. They still have a hard time. They still have the love for their significant other. A ring and a piece of paper doesn't determine how much someone loves that person. I will admit being a spouse does have some more burdens but as far as the emotional part of it.....we are still all feeling the same way and want our military men home safe and sound in bed next to us
Let me give you just a little info on the incendent I had with the wife. I'm not a pfc's wife trying to go to an Officers wives meeting. I don't want to go in details and again I don't think rank should matter, but my husband is a SNCO and normally SNCO and officers have functions/meetings together. They are equivalent. Just one has earned their title while the other chose to go through school to get theirs. Nothing is wrong with either way. They just chose different paths but yet still want to achieve the same goal.
Rank to me doesn't matter. It's our husbands that wear the ranks not us. I've accomplished enough in my life that I'm proud of who I am and can stand strong on my own two feet. I don't need my husbands accomplishments to make me stand out in the crowd. If a pfc's spouse is in need to talk with someone they should be able to contact any wife in the military and have them listen and not judge. To have them be there for a support system. All of us women are going through an emotional time. We all cry. We all stand by and support our husbands. We all welcome Marines in and out of our homes and our lives without any question of who they are or if they're intentions are good or not. All of our hearts swell from the sight of the American Flag and all of us get goosebumbs and immediately think of our husbands, friends and loved ones who are serving or have served when we hear the National Anthem being sung.
Yes I know how the rank structure works. I know your not suppose to associate with certain ranks once your a certain rank. But thats the old days and even if you believe that still ... again that is for our husbands not the wives. We shouldn't be judging.
If I listened to that rank structure that my husband has to go by I wouldn't have met some amazing friends that have helped me through some hard times. I have friends that their husbands are lower ranks and some that are higher and I'm there for each one of them the same.
Another wife (actually an officers wife...see not all are bad lol) and I are planning on starting our own group. A group for all wives, girlfriends and fiance's to come and talk and have some wine or coffee or whatever and make new friends and have a strong support from women who are going through the same thing. And even though the officer wives turned away me from coming to their group I'd still welcome them to ours because like I said we all need support now and then.
One last note. I've seen some military spouses turn their noses up at girlfriends or fiances. They think because they're not married yet that they don't deserve to be included in the things Military Wives are. Well thats bullshit. They still have a hard time. They still have the love for their significant other. A ring and a piece of paper doesn't determine how much someone loves that person. I will admit being a spouse does have some more burdens but as far as the emotional part of it.....we are still all feeling the same way and want our military men home safe and sound in bed next to us
Being a military spouse
I'm a new military spouse. And I always heard the stories but didn't really believe them. I thought I could make it through anything. I'm a strong woman. I come from a group of strong women, but I've found it difficult and frustrating at times to keep it together.
We try to remain calm and collected for our husbands but it's very hard when inside we just want to scream. My husband is currently away for pre-deployment training. This is our first time really apart since we've met. It's been so difficult and it's hard to talk with people because you feel they don't understand completely what your going through. It's so easy for them to just throw out "It will get easier" "Your strong" "You knew what you got into when you married him". I know they're trying to just comfort me a little but it really makes it worse. It doesn't get easier as time goes on you just learn to adapt better. I know I'm a strong person but even the strong have their breaking points. I did know what I got into when I married him and I wouldn't change that for the world, but just because you "know" what you got into doesn't make it instantly easy to adapt to the new lifestyle.
For me at this point it doesn't get easier. I still I cry every night to sleep because I can't lay my head on my husbands chest. I cry when something comes on tv that reminds me of him. Reading peoples mushy facebooks and seeing pictures or just when the room fills with silence and it's just me and my thoughts running wild I break down. Normally my husband and I sit and talk for hours at night just talking about random things. When he's gone I really miss that. Yes I have friends and family I can call and talk to for hours but it's just not the same. I'm very lucky to have found my best friend in my husband and when he's gone I miss that.
Thing is it's not my friends and families faults. It's my own for not knowing how to deal with all of this yet. For not knowing how to look past it without getting hurt or upset. I don't expect their lives to stop. I just wish I had the support I need and desperately am seeking. The problem is they are all there supporting me asking what I need and thats the problem I'm not exactly sure.
I have found some people that are just too busy to worry about me I guess. That their lives are so important that they can't take the time to text or make a simple call to just check on me. Everyone is quick to say they will be there to support you. They will be there at any time to talk and listen, but when it comes down to it they have their lives and you can't ask them to stop what they're doing and worry about just you. I'm an adult and have to figure out how to get through this. I wish I had more support for some but it is what it is and it's part of life. You learn to suck it up and move on.
We just PCS'd cross country away from my safety zone just a couple months ago. Away from both our friends and family. We know hardly anyone and haven't made any good friends yet. I've tried to make a couple but it's hard to force it. I want it to come naturally not me having to make friends because I don't want to be alone while my husband is deployed. I miss being able to call my family and friends at normal times. Not 3 hours difference. I miss being able to just go for a drive if need be and see my closest friends and family. Or just going up and sitting and talking to my dad while my husband is at work. The little things make it difficult but the love I have for my husband and that my husband has for me makes it better. I guess thats why when he's gone I break down. I feel like I don't have the love and support standing right beside me helping me get through every day easier. I don't have my best friend saying it'll be ok.
I know this blog is a lot of random thoughts and feelings. I just needed to get it out. I know I'm not the only spouse that feels this way and hope that one day someone will find it comforting to know they're not alone in their feelings.
We try to remain calm and collected for our husbands but it's very hard when inside we just want to scream. My husband is currently away for pre-deployment training. This is our first time really apart since we've met. It's been so difficult and it's hard to talk with people because you feel they don't understand completely what your going through. It's so easy for them to just throw out "It will get easier" "Your strong" "You knew what you got into when you married him". I know they're trying to just comfort me a little but it really makes it worse. It doesn't get easier as time goes on you just learn to adapt better. I know I'm a strong person but even the strong have their breaking points. I did know what I got into when I married him and I wouldn't change that for the world, but just because you "know" what you got into doesn't make it instantly easy to adapt to the new lifestyle.
For me at this point it doesn't get easier. I still I cry every night to sleep because I can't lay my head on my husbands chest. I cry when something comes on tv that reminds me of him. Reading peoples mushy facebooks and seeing pictures or just when the room fills with silence and it's just me and my thoughts running wild I break down. Normally my husband and I sit and talk for hours at night just talking about random things. When he's gone I really miss that. Yes I have friends and family I can call and talk to for hours but it's just not the same. I'm very lucky to have found my best friend in my husband and when he's gone I miss that.
Thing is it's not my friends and families faults. It's my own for not knowing how to deal with all of this yet. For not knowing how to look past it without getting hurt or upset. I don't expect their lives to stop. I just wish I had the support I need and desperately am seeking. The problem is they are all there supporting me asking what I need and thats the problem I'm not exactly sure.
I have found some people that are just too busy to worry about me I guess. That their lives are so important that they can't take the time to text or make a simple call to just check on me. Everyone is quick to say they will be there to support you. They will be there at any time to talk and listen, but when it comes down to it they have their lives and you can't ask them to stop what they're doing and worry about just you. I'm an adult and have to figure out how to get through this. I wish I had more support for some but it is what it is and it's part of life. You learn to suck it up and move on.
We just PCS'd cross country away from my safety zone just a couple months ago. Away from both our friends and family. We know hardly anyone and haven't made any good friends yet. I've tried to make a couple but it's hard to force it. I want it to come naturally not me having to make friends because I don't want to be alone while my husband is deployed. I miss being able to call my family and friends at normal times. Not 3 hours difference. I miss being able to just go for a drive if need be and see my closest friends and family. Or just going up and sitting and talking to my dad while my husband is at work. The little things make it difficult but the love I have for my husband and that my husband has for me makes it better. I guess thats why when he's gone I break down. I feel like I don't have the love and support standing right beside me helping me get through every day easier. I don't have my best friend saying it'll be ok.
I know this blog is a lot of random thoughts and feelings. I just needed to get it out. I know I'm not the only spouse that feels this way and hope that one day someone will find it comforting to know they're not alone in their feelings.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Welcome!
Well I'm starting this blog more for me and for other military spouses that have a hard time every now and then. It's to share the joys and the pains of being a military spouse. It isn't all bad but there are times that you just want to scream and cry. Then there's those times that you want to tell how proud you are of your husband or how you accomplished something of your own lol It's a way for me to get out my feelings and to try to help me deal with the reality of being a Marine Corps wife. Good and Bad. I hope you enjoy!
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